Heresy

So, I can blog.

I worry, due to many things.  And the fact I've written and posted parts 5 and 6 of Dead City worries me also. Will it make it? Will it hit home with the right people? Time is ticking, a breath towards death each second.

I can't even edit my last blog post. I want too, but the webs people won't let me... worrying.

Well...

Things and stuff...

Today was kinda special. The free world has a leader again, I guess. Obama is a fantastic orator, looks like a decent President, and for the first time in my life, hearing his words with such conviction, that  I wish dearly that I was somehow an American, or at least had a leader like him – hmm, Brown by name, brown by nature, yeah?  It’s not that I want to be American, its just that I wish I had a leader to aspire to, that gave us hope and inspired our actions.

But really, when you listen to this Barack guy, you just want to be something more, something better. His books are inspiring also, I've been reading them, and I’m wondering about my life now – thinking about how little I have done; how little I’ve affected history; how little I've expressed my thoughts because of some form of shyness. I’ve lived a little you know, especially with my young life (what a true stroy that is), and it still helps and hinders me to this day – but that should not dictate what I can do and what I am now, and in the future.

I could be something so much worse, trust me.

I know, at a personal level, though, in my life I’ve set up some local clubs, done stuff for charity (at a small level), and helped my local ‘gaming’ community unite where I’ve worked – but what does that mean? Is that enough?

Well, no.

I think it’s time for me to look at what I want to achieve in life.

It’s time to reflect on my standing, my belief.

Time to decide, what will I be, what will I achieve?

What will I leave behind?

Indeed, what will the rest of my life be? What meaning will it have? Will I be like most of the people I see each day in the street, and think about MY OWN life, my own future, only, in my little bubble of greatness? Or will I think about my fellow man? Think about what ripples I’m creating?

We are in a time of unease, yes.

We are in a time of doubt. I agree.

But, think about this, opportunity is part of humanity, yes? So what opportunities does each of us have? More that you think, I’m guessing.

So, under the gloom and the darkness of modern life, could the spark of thought, belief and change be seen and heard? Could it cry out amidst the bleakness and be seen, and become something more?

Yes.

Something that means more. That’s apparent. That helps.

Let’s for once take the opportunity to do some good, or something meaningful, yeah?

Because its there, just in reach, that opportunity, that dream. You just have to take that chance, do the work, and make it happen.

So make it happen.

Hello all and happy new year!!

I've been a bit lazy for the last month and not updated the site, but finally here to to so! New Year usually brings new promises to stop all the bad things we feel we do in life, such as drinking, smoking, laziness, being unfit etc. Writers usually decide to go for 'finishing the novel, or 'i'll get published this year'. I've made these resolutions myself in the past, but not this year. There is no resolution, just continuation.

Yep, I'm not gonna stop drinking, I'll start the gym in feb, and i'll write what i want, when i please. In fact, I think I'll also eat more chocolate! Why? Well, everone is so uptight in January because of money, and stopping all the things they enjoy, and i'm not going to to the same, I'm going to look at what i achieved last year and what i've learned, and continue living. I'm less stressed and happier than most, it seems!

But, with the passing of time, i feel we need to look at our lives, assess our situation, and have a vision for the future. What exciting things will you do this year? What changes do you need to make? What great things will happen in the next few years? What to you NEED to do to change your life, or a loved ones? Not eating chocolate for a month, until you get fed up and buy a mars bar in Feb won't do much for you - but a viosion of where your life will be in two years might help you drive forwards with a positive, focussed feeling, and you never know, soon you might not have to make those resolutions because your happy about where you are!

So, the dead rise. Yep, I've done it again and started a new story before i complete the many i am writing!! But, I've realised that I am not writing about one of the ideas that i love - the zombie horror! And, since i enjoy the warhammer 40k background, why not marry the two and form an dark, exciting, twisted tale? So i have. Check out Dead City in My Stories for the first two parts - I've had some good reviews so far!

So, this has made me now write TWO novels at the same time! Who will I cope? No idea! Let's see what this year has in store for me, maybe I'll write both of them and people will enjoy reading them!! Or, maybe I'll start yet another story...

I amost had the first chapter finished with! I was happy with it... sort of... and posted it on the web. Then, after some more feedback I realised that it was all tell, tell, tell - and no show!! Also, it didn't start with a bang, not hooking people into it! So, a bad start!

But, i aim to persist, and I've rewritten it - AGAIN!!

This time, with added show, and some new characters! Let's hope it's good enough now!

To try and get into the right frame of mind about showing the story from the characters point of view I've picked up the new Terry Brooks novel, Gypsy Morph. He always writes well from his characters POV, and gets right into their thoughts! Hopefully, reading him with a critical eyes view, it will rub of on my stories!

Tonight. after a most terrible day at work, I've been thinking about my future in writing. What do I want out of it? Why am I doing it? Etc etc...

Simple answer: No idea. I like it.

So, I got onto the point of what will I write now and in the future? I'm doing an online, free, novel right now - something that will not go to publishers and I'll actually have to pay for myself... So, where to go after that???

Here's my ideas:

- A novel about a man (a criminal) looking back at his life and how his life ended up what it was (he's in a bad place, with people after him!)

- A story based on Terry Brooks' Word and the Void series (well, more inspired from), with some dark, yet universal magic and horror. Another FanFic story, posted online, for free.

- A story based on my Gran's life. She's in her 90's now, and seen so much, her stories have so much to them, that I think there's so much in them. Sometimes listening is the best form of story creation. Hmm... This would entail lots, and lots, of research, but... how good would it be??

- A Zombie, SciFi thriller, based on a planet far from Earth, in the near future, where the survivours of a mysterious Zombie plague try to flee their unliving planet for the safety of Earth...!!

- Oh, and a christmas Fairy Tale, about kidnapped faries and children, and how they try to escape and find the meaning of Christmas...

I'm going to be busy, methinks! And I need a dictaphone for Christmas. And paper. And some pens. And time, with added time, mixed with a helping of Muse, and....

On a general note, I've had a crap day: it started early, then I had several complaints (none of which targeted my store directly, was weird); my store phone broke; I lost my mobile for a while; I almost had to suspend everyone cos two bank bags went missing (then were found - damn other depts..!), then there was internet problems, and it was cold today!!!!

Ahh, feel better now...

I've been busy rewriting the first two chapters of Parthenon today. I've had some great feedback over the last few weeks, and its helped me to visualise my characters more, and develop the style of my writing. I've realised just how much I repeat myself in my writing, and lots about how to show, and not tell... And i thought I knew all about that!! But it shows what some good feedback can do for you!

I'm finding it hard to continue on with the story right now - i need to get a good grasp of ALL my main characters and the setting to do it justice - and i need to think more about the overall plot. Already I've changed a few of my characters, and cut about 1000 words!! I've been researching for weeks now - properly i might add - and its helping! After years, and years, of being in the hobby and reading all about 40k I've just now realised how hard it is to write fan fic well, and that I forgotten so much!

Still, it's for the best - I really think the first two chapters are turning into something really good now, and the second draft i have on this site is but a shadow of what is about to arrive...

Watching the Fellowhip of the Ring again today. Really, its such a good movie!!! Up there with Lost in Translation, High Fidelity, Jaws, the Lost Boys and Rambo/Rocky!!!!!!!!!!

SSSooooooooooo...

I'm up to about 5500 words of the novel now! I know, only 65,000 (ish) words to go... 

Still, written about 1500 words today, which isn't too bad, and i've got over the block i had earlier in the week. Even though i've planned the scene, it was really hard to write! I've moved on to the next few bits of the story now, and it's running freely. The dam is well and truly burst!

Problem, however: I'm finding it hard to make it '40k'. What i mean is that i'm not putting in enought 40k and sci fi jargon, and i think this is lessening the impact of the novel. And its mucking up the sci fi and 40k element. Looks like i have to do some studying - well, I'm thinking of reading Eisenhorn and Ravenor to learn more about 40kism's, and, lets be honest, to remember how its meant to be done!

Saw the news about the Mumbai attacks. Scare the shit out of me to be honest. To think that what i write about (violence, guns, bad guys etc) is something that actually happens really puts it all into prespective - reality can be harsh, evil and unforgiving. Hate and madness is a real thing and we humans are capable of the most horrible, debased and villainous actions. I lament for the dead, and hope for an end to this soon.

I'm on to Chapter 4 now, but i thought i'd post up the first chapter of my novel to whet peoples apetite for more (if they're interested of course!). So, check out the link on the Home page for a link to the first chapter - hope you enjoy! Any comments etc, please post here, on the forums, or at the BL website!! Looking to finish it, not in a month as was first 'wished for', but by January or February - we'll see!!

Looking to finish the next part to my flash fiction horror for 40k soon also - the deal is that I just spend an hour of unplanned writing to create a story around 6 parts long, with no planning etc. I'm using it to warm up for writing the novel right now! Posted up the first two parts on the BL website, and looking to put up the next one tonight... hopefully!

Finding it hard to write right now - work keeps getting in the way, and generally knackered also! Joined the gym also - using it as 'thinking time' for writing... Hmm...

So, there's around 10 days left of the NaNoWriMo, and out of the 50,000 words i need to write to finish, I've done... 3500!

Oh.

So, maybe I won't finish this novel in 30 days. Really, what was i thinking? But, this has been a productive month overall, i feel. I've made a start on the novel, better than any other one I've planned! Also, I've have lots of help and thinking time about writing over the last few weeks, so overall, yeah, its been good!

Also, had three articles submitted into the Black Library Fan Fiction monthly newsletter... but hey, I'm the only one writing anything for it!! But its fun and keeps me writing - also, i hope the others from the forum get something from it!!

Here's a link: http://forum.blpublishing.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=9816

Also, finished my Black Library Halloween writing comp, and the winner was Sholto, with his evil little story, White Noise. I'll post a link in the Collectorium.

Cheers for now, and wish me luck for finishing chapter 3 of Parthenon!

Yep.

I've done zero this weekend and starting to worry if I can actually do my 50k word count this month. Tomorrow's out, as I'm going to my first visit to the writers group, which should be interesting, but taking away more precious time!

Wednesday's out also, so already I have only 5 days to write. Then there's the two presentations I have to write this week also...hmm

Anyway, on a lighter note I spent some time chatting to Graham McNeill yesterday, and he gave some great insights on creating characters and worlds. One thing that sticks in my mind it to not get too far into your characters overall development until you start writing your story, as - or really, make sure they can breath and become their own person - so that they grow with, and within, the story. Something I'm going to remember while I thinking about my characters - sometimes you should just get stuck in to thw writing rather than worry about the in's and outs of the characters.

Oh, I've got my review to finish for the BL newsletter... that's another day at least off my writing week.

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